Some days, you have to trust God because there’s nothing else you can do. I was at church with my dad this morning, and the pastor talked about placing our trust and hope in God, how placing it in other people or institutions is a lost cause. Fact is, there is no savior on Capitol Hill. There’s no savior on TV or in a book or in an institution or even in ourselves.
Faith gets me by most days, but sometimes, I shake a fist at God, asking him why he’s given me a certain situation to deal with. Others, I trudge along, making my way through the muck of apathy, trying to ignore him. It’d be nice if I could say that I didn’t have those doubt days, those tough days, those I don’t feel like faith will cut it days. But I do.
The good news is, he loves me through ‘em.
A few weeks back, I was sitting at one of my favorite cafes in town munching on a hot hoagie sandwich, listening to my iPod. This song came up. It’s from the soundtrack of a movie that I’ve never seen; my dad’s had the soundtrack since I was a kid. While the movie Falling From Grace is apparently nothing to write home about, the soundtrack is a solid collection of rock, alternative country, and Americana – John Mellencamp, Lisa Germano, Nanci Griffith, Dwight Yoakam. And this song, which describes where I’m at right now.
“Days Like These” by Janis Ian
On days like these
When the rain won’t fall
And the sky is so dry
That even birds can’t call
I can feel your tears
Disappearing in the air
Carried on the breeze
On days like these
It’s years like these
That make a young man old
Bend his back against the promises
That life should hold
They can make him wise
They can drive him to his knees
Nothing comes for free
On days like these
But you can’t reap what you don’t sow
And you can’t plant in fallow ground
So let us fill this empty earth with hope
Until the rains come down
In lives like these
Where every moment counts
I add up all the things
That I can live without
When the one thing left
Is the blessing of my dreams
I can make my peace
In days like these
I can make my peace
In days like these…
The one thing I have is the blessing of my dreams, and that is because my dreams are blessed by an awesome lover who holds all my fears and hopes in the palm of his hand. His promises are written not only in the word but also on my heart. While I have my fits, my doubts, and my bouts of disappointment, ultimately, I have his promises to return to at the end of the day.
Jeremiah 29:11: “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
These days, I’m learning that trust is a choice worth choosing.
